6th day

today is the 6th i am clearing my leave. for the past few days, was resting and relaxing. doing my fav passtime - watching my canto drama! had finished D.I.E (2), a comedy detective drama. i love detective drama and i always thot i have the "detective brain"! haha. i can always guess who is the culprit based on previous detective shows i watched. but D.I.E (2) doesnt really show much pre-investigate scenes that allows me to use my "detective brain" but still enjoy the show cos its very funny and light hearted.
now watching the 烈火雄心 (3). i can vaguely remember what happened in parts 1 and 2. but part 3 was so emotional and heavy hearted. most are about the relationships of the 2 leading actors, and the leading actress......

anyway, since sat, i felt so tired again. not sure why. my chest feels pain in the morning too... perhaps could not get to slp as keep thinking of whether should i pursue my facination in make up and nails..... have researched but i also went to forums to see comments about the schools. got confused, as many mentioned that some schools just want to make money, and dont teach u properly, just want to sell products to u..........
its not i am not determined to learn, but the courses are expensive. and what are the job prospects?

i am always so indecisive when it comes to "change".

when will i stop procrastinating?

its already almost end of Q1 2010! and i am still at the present position. haiz.....


wanted badly to move... to learn nails? but scare i dont have the talent.......

now i have an opportunity to move, to another co, thanks to my ex coll. but also hestitating, cos will be under my ex coll, and being close friends, will working tgt spoil our relationship? but nv mind abt that, first i have to pass the interview first!!

my AF is late for 3 days. i wonder if there will be good news this time? every morning when i take my temp, feel very nervous..... maybe tmr it will come? then it will be another disappointment again........

The dinner before he went for HK

we met, ytd nite before he will be leaving for for hk this morning for a holiday with his colleagues.

during the dinner at NYDC, he looked puzzled when i said we better nt share food.. tt's cos i dont wish to pass my germs to him! have been sick for 2 weeks... but i used my 2 days mc to make stars for him, put inside a box, together with the amulet... just for him.

aft dinner, as usual, he sent me back.. when we reached my block, i suddenly said "bye" in his car, and he said "huh? oh ok".... i was wondering if he was wishing tt i cud stay a while longer? actually i dont wish to leave, rem, i was reminding him to bring the medicines and my gift hme.. just want to see another minute of him before i went up.... i always wanted him to drive off before i go up, but its kind of weird to say tt to him... but i always peep behind the corner, seeing him drives off before i go up..

i am so happy tt he smsed me saying he appreciate very much the amulet and strepsils i gave him. i hope he wont fall sick when he is in HK..

i could nt slp the nite before he left. i set my alarm, 5.30 am today, intending to sms him....i woke up, but i lack the courage. really miss him, cos both of us are breathing in different space now... i wish 11th come faster.. the day he be back, with my whole shopping centre from HK!

Office politics

so... FT told me some things... he said my boss actually wanted to employ someone more senoir for my position, but my supervisor did not seek his approval and employed me. so he was rather angry..

thus, i was actually employed in the midst of these politics... and now, tho my boss wamted my superv and PL to swop their job scope, none of them are willing to... and PL also nt very willing to teach me. she always says she is busy. and when she teach, she was so impatient. she asked, y is it i dont know?  u mean she expect me to know, when no one teach me. or she expect me to know when she dumped thins to me, and when i asked her, she only knw hw to say "i'm busy?"

she sucks. and i wish to tell her to eat shit!

Dinner with him

had dinner with him... i dunno but i was filled with happiness.. just feel so happy with him..

i waited for him for 30 min, but i was not angry at all.. unlike me haha.. forgive him since he was working.

we went to olio at suntec.. and we ordered 2 different meals..... it was sweet of him to ask: "u want me to leave some for u?" and in the end, he had to eat almost 3/4 of my meal! he took my pizza and the desert... i said the pizza is too salty and he suggested exchanging plates.. and we just exchanged plates to eat... i ate his half eaten noodles.. and he ate my pizza.. i did not finish the noodles and he took it back to continue...... we actually ate each other saliva!! and we dont mind at all. what is our relationship?? i only saw the 2 couples sitting on our left and right doing tt.... but because they are couple. or perhaps the one sitting on my right is not? cos he said he overheard the guy saying to the girl "my gf and i..." tt was so funny...

anyway, i asked him abt his colleague. i was actually hinting to him.. wanting to know why there's a vivian in his call divert which i saw in his old hp.... he looked surprised when i asked him if tt senoir of his in jurong branch is viv.. and he looked even more surprised when i told him abt the call divert.. can i trust him to be honest?? cos he even wanted to see his old hp.. and he wanted to show me his current hp, tt he nv like to put any call diverts.. tho i did not see it.. i dunno, some part of me just want to trust tt he dont know abt it.. perhaps tt's y i did not bother to even look at his current hp...

i asked alot abt viv.. her age, 28, poly, doing a degree.. i'm glad he do not look exceptionally happy when we talked abt her. and he had to recall and think hard abt what i asked abt her... i hpe it means both of u are purely colleagues. and i'm getting jealous for nothing.. and i believe tt u wont go for someone who is 3 yrs older than urself??? i hope tt my 6th sense is right again this time!

he even wanted to give me ocean's original cd... i was "wow" .. and when he gave me a lift hme, we were listening to ocean's song. one of my fav was stil playing when we reached my block. and when i pretended to cry, he told me "ok ok no prob, dont cry (bu yao ku, bu yao ku), let u finish listen to this song", and he drove round the carpark... i was feeling so sweet...  i wish tt u are mine there and then. 

ev outing with him makes me like him more.... i wanted to ask him abt his ex gf.. if both of them are stil in contact? i just cant open my mouth to ask.... i still dun know y he dont want to tell me personally... does he nt trust me enuf?

i'm looking forward to the next dinner with him! and i promise i'll give him an amulet for his trip to HK!

My new work..

oh, so fast, its already 2wks into my new office.. but i am really nt used to it. over at stlogs, i always need to pick up calls, but now its so damn quiet, no phone calls. and the whole office is so quiet. no radio. i can only hear the sounds of the keyboard. i thot i can get used to here fast, but now, i think i still need few mths.
 

and my team members are always so busy.. no time to coach me.. i haven been doing much lately...

Finally I told him abt the sms..

I am still haunted by reading his sms.. thus i decided to tell him once and for all! i smsed him saying i had something to tell him... i started off saying we were frens for 4 yrs, and tt i regarded him as my close fren. so we shld be honest with ea other...

it was then, tt he finally broke the news to me. he said he had wanted to tell me abt his breakup. but did not know hw to bring it up and let me know.. and told me nt to worry.. he is fine now.. tho at times might miss her... he added tt he is nt offended or angry with me for reading..

phew! i was relieved. but i really hpe he is ok and really dont blame me for reading them....

btw, tmr will be my first day back at NOL...