The dinner before he went for HK

we met, ytd nite before he will be leaving for for hk this morning for a holiday with his colleagues.

during the dinner at NYDC, he looked puzzled when i said we better nt share food.. tt's cos i dont wish to pass my germs to him! have been sick for 2 weeks... but i used my 2 days mc to make stars for him, put inside a box, together with the amulet... just for him.

aft dinner, as usual, he sent me back.. when we reached my block, i suddenly said "bye" in his car, and he said "huh? oh ok".... i was wondering if he was wishing tt i cud stay a while longer? actually i dont wish to leave, rem, i was reminding him to bring the medicines and my gift hme.. just want to see another minute of him before i went up.... i always wanted him to drive off before i go up, but its kind of weird to say tt to him... but i always peep behind the corner, seeing him drives off before i go up..

i am so happy tt he smsed me saying he appreciate very much the amulet and strepsils i gave him. i hope he wont fall sick when he is in HK..

i could nt slp the nite before he left. i set my alarm, 5.30 am today, intending to sms him....i woke up, but i lack the courage. really miss him, cos both of us are breathing in different space now... i wish 11th come faster.. the day he be back, with my whole shopping centre from HK!

Office politics

so... FT told me some things... he said my boss actually wanted to employ someone more senoir for my position, but my supervisor did not seek his approval and employed me. so he was rather angry..

thus, i was actually employed in the midst of these politics... and now, tho my boss wamted my superv and PL to swop their job scope, none of them are willing to... and PL also nt very willing to teach me. she always says she is busy. and when she teach, she was so impatient. she asked, y is it i dont know?  u mean she expect me to know, when no one teach me. or she expect me to know when she dumped thins to me, and when i asked her, she only knw hw to say "i'm busy?"

she sucks. and i wish to tell her to eat shit!

Dinner with him

had dinner with him... i dunno but i was filled with happiness.. just feel so happy with him..

i waited for him for 30 min, but i was not angry at all.. unlike me haha.. forgive him since he was working.

we went to olio at suntec.. and we ordered 2 different meals..... it was sweet of him to ask: "u want me to leave some for u?" and in the end, he had to eat almost 3/4 of my meal! he took my pizza and the desert... i said the pizza is too salty and he suggested exchanging plates.. and we just exchanged plates to eat... i ate his half eaten noodles.. and he ate my pizza.. i did not finish the noodles and he took it back to continue...... we actually ate each other saliva!! and we dont mind at all. what is our relationship?? i only saw the 2 couples sitting on our left and right doing tt.... but because they are couple. or perhaps the one sitting on my right is not? cos he said he overheard the guy saying to the girl "my gf and i..." tt was so funny...

anyway, i asked him abt his colleague. i was actually hinting to him.. wanting to know why there's a vivian in his call divert which i saw in his old hp.... he looked surprised when i asked him if tt senoir of his in jurong branch is viv.. and he looked even more surprised when i told him abt the call divert.. can i trust him to be honest?? cos he even wanted to see his old hp.. and he wanted to show me his current hp, tt he nv like to put any call diverts.. tho i did not see it.. i dunno, some part of me just want to trust tt he dont know abt it.. perhaps tt's y i did not bother to even look at his current hp...

i asked alot abt viv.. her age, 28, poly, doing a degree.. i'm glad he do not look exceptionally happy when we talked abt her. and he had to recall and think hard abt what i asked abt her... i hpe it means both of u are purely colleagues. and i'm getting jealous for nothing.. and i believe tt u wont go for someone who is 3 yrs older than urself??? i hope tt my 6th sense is right again this time!

he even wanted to give me ocean's original cd... i was "wow" .. and when he gave me a lift hme, we were listening to ocean's song. one of my fav was stil playing when we reached my block. and when i pretended to cry, he told me "ok ok no prob, dont cry (bu yao ku, bu yao ku), let u finish listen to this song", and he drove round the carpark... i was feeling so sweet...  i wish tt u are mine there and then. 

ev outing with him makes me like him more.... i wanted to ask him abt his ex gf.. if both of them are stil in contact? i just cant open my mouth to ask.... i still dun know y he dont want to tell me personally... does he nt trust me enuf?

i'm looking forward to the next dinner with him! and i promise i'll give him an amulet for his trip to HK!

My new work..

oh, so fast, its already 2wks into my new office.. but i am really nt used to it. over at stlogs, i always need to pick up calls, but now its so damn quiet, no phone calls. and the whole office is so quiet. no radio. i can only hear the sounds of the keyboard. i thot i can get used to here fast, but now, i think i still need few mths.
 

and my team members are always so busy.. no time to coach me.. i haven been doing much lately...

Finally I told him abt the sms..

I am still haunted by reading his sms.. thus i decided to tell him once and for all! i smsed him saying i had something to tell him... i started off saying we were frens for 4 yrs, and tt i regarded him as my close fren. so we shld be honest with ea other...

it was then, tt he finally broke the news to me. he said he had wanted to tell me abt his breakup. but did not know hw to bring it up and let me know.. and told me nt to worry.. he is fine now.. tho at times might miss her... he added tt he is nt offended or angry with me for reading..

phew! i was relieved. but i really hpe he is ok and really dont blame me for reading them....

btw, tmr will be my first day back at NOL...

Last day at STlogs

Today is the last day at stlogs. Time flies, and I have been with the co for 9mths... initially was a nightmare, all the breaking down at work.. and depression.. but after few mths, i got along so well with my colleagues, i find it sad to leave them.. but too bad, this is nt a perm job.. really think i wil miss working with my colleagues, cos we really work well together.. we will scold ea other when we are unhappy with ea other, but i like tt, at least we are different from the rest of the co, where pple show put on a mask. Sincerely will miss all of them. Esp my mentor, who has been supporting me during my stay.

It was a really busy day, rushing to clear as much as i cud. But too bad, i cant clear all.. i'm sorry tt i have to leave some things for my colleague to clear, but i hope i have given clear instructions.

well, he came to pick me up at ard 8.30pm, as i had requested.. on my way to dinner, his phone rang.. i vaguely heard a female's voice!  and i suspect it was viv who called to ask him if he managed to find my workplace. Yeah! y is she so concern?!
we went for dinner near my place.. we were rather quiet.. cos i wasnt really talking, i keep thinking in my mind, hw shld i tell him abt reading his sms? when we were almost finish, i took my hp out, and asked him "do u want to delete ur stuff urself?" He shook his head.  I hinted him once abt those sms, and he only told me to delete them. now when i personally tell him, he still refuse to say anything?!  

and tt's the end of story! he just sent me back... no conclusion.

Dont Know why..

Today like no mood to work.. So many things to do also don’t know wat to do first. And today ev1 in my dept v tensed up cos my last day this Thurs, then my other colleague next wk... A lot of huo yao wei.. cos when we chk, we realize tt my colleagues did not do, but we dont know y.. Then I’m also clearing shit partly left over by her and another colleague. alot of things only they know. We are like half pail water...... but they don’t find time to clear them.. So it becomes a big mess. Sometimes don’t know why so many outstanding things hanging in the air...

Will be meeting him this Thurs... I asked him to come pick me up at work, cos I had a lot of things to bring home (actually it’s an excuse to meet him) >< I don’t know if I dare to tell him about reading his sms... I hope I will.....

Don’t know if he'll be open to me. Actually scare he will gen wo fan lian on the spot........ I so want to know who's this Viv. I know I shld take things as it comes..... but I don’t know if I shld go all out to ......... u know... to zhen qu my xing fu and to spend another half yr or more to do tt... cos I am afraid.. My colleague asked me y I "si yao zhe bu fang". I also dunno y.. tt time I still don’t know they broke. Then I was looking for my sms, and suddenly I saw those sms, I cried when I read his sms to her gf. I don’t know y. Is it bcos I like him too much to feel his pain, or is it becos, I wanted desperately for them to be happy, but it turned out otherwise? Or is it becos, I regretted not staying by his side during the past one yr.

I feel so sian when I think abt the things tt happen to him. The sms keep replaying in my head and I feel so helpless.. I thot I want to give him up liao, then this happen, and I had to find out thru this unexpected way. What is God trying to do here?

SHOCKING NEWS got from his HP

This afternoon at work, something drastic happen...I realized he did not delete his sent and archive from his phone, and his numbers also..... numbers stil ok... I just saw his GF name, acc no, gf auntie no..

THEN, I wanted to find a sent item I saved ytd... and I realized tt he did not delete his sms. So......I read 2 of them and I realized tt he and his GF has prob liao... and I think they BROKE OFF!

I CRIED in office. Shld I tell him tt he did not delete them? My colleague told me tt I shld tell him, and not continue reading the rest..... yes I know its rude to but I really want to know y and what happen btw them........

I saw a lot of sent sms to vivian! who is VIVIAN!!????

Meeting him again

Haha, met him today to get my new hp!! He wanted to come and fetch me, but I declined.. dont want him to feel tired..but as usual, he sent me back.

He just finished his CFA and we met in the evening. Besides dinner, we watched Harry Porter.. We only had a causal chat over dinner.. and I happily took his hp. I even took a photo of him!! LOL...
And ooops.. I never asked anything about his relationships.. Still kai bu liao kou loh.. haiz.. Perhaps its for my own good not to know..

Silly me.. (still abt him)

iyo...i had wanted to ask him abt his r'ship, i dunno how to casually ask.... and I am really afraid. if he says something nt too gd, i feel sad. if he says smething gd, i feel dissappointed! alamak! so contradicting rite? but if i nv ask, i never know!

Recently, I notice he did not fwd mails to his gf.... iirc her gf mail addy.. I rem I see it somewhere fr the fwd mails he sent. but perhaps, the fwd mail he sent are from his gf.. .:  I dont know why I wil notice these small things... I'm like trying so hard to convince myself tt they ..... are.... having prob or whatever...

And I am going to meet him on a sunday, straight aft his CFA exam. i thot, normally, straight aft exams and on a sunday, prob wil want to meet gf right? Somemore he not working (usually he works on wkends too).... but then again mabbe her gf not free lor... dont u think i'm v silly to thik of these things? :S

Weird me...

It's a weird feeing since meeting him on my birthday.. I keep thinking of hw he and his gf are getting on, esp when he looked unhappy and shrugged it off.. Its a women's 6th sense.. but I never dare to ask him abt them... its sometimes good not to know, I supposed.

But I keep telling my colleague abt him!! And my colleague sensed tt I like him.. haa.. who cares anyway..

I am just glad that we maintained contact, he smsed me quite often now..like how we were in uni yrs.. and we started to email ea other.. He decided to give me his current hp tho I wanted him to sell it to me.. but he refused, saying he wont sell it to a friend, and tt since I wanted to get 7250, might as well he gave me his since it is stil in good condition and he wants to get a new one. So... anything he says loh.. Anyway, I no $ to get a new hp and my current one is dying..

My Birthday!!

Today's my birthday!! I took leave for work... It was exciting and enjoyable!! I spent it with my university pal, the one whom I had studied with, lunched almost everyday with. Yes, we were tt close, but did not meet ea other for about a year since... I remember tt he had initiated a meet up sometime back.. but I cant believe that I rejected it.. because at that time, I was not tt prepared to meet him. Believe it or not, I like him since university years! But since he has a gf, and seeing that he "looked" happy, I stepped out, and make use of the "graduation period" to make my own feelings disappear...

I decided that I am ready to meet him again, thus, I contacted him, and he suggested to meet up. And coincidently, we met on my birthday!

It was a very simple date... Wow, we did not meet for a year, but he still look as good looking as before.. heee.. Of cos as gentlemanly.. The first words he said when I got into his car (he came and fetched me) was "Happy Birthday" ...

We went for dinner at pastamania.. We talked for a while... I was still curious about how he and his gf are getting on, thus, I asked him when he's getting married, or buying a flat.. Amazingly, he did not looked happy, and he shrugged it off.. Tho I sensed something amiss, I did not ask much..

Hmm.. I mentioned that I wanted to get a new hp, 7250, tt is his current hp.. and he intended to get a new one, so he suggestted giving his current one to me... Quite weird.. but I still took his hp to browse thru.. I looked into his graphic folder.. hmm.. his gf photos are still inside. And his contact, his gf name, he still put it as Girl Girl. So, they are still happily together... I was being sensitive abt him looking unhappy when I mentioned abt the getting married issue...

Anyway, we went for a movie.. 50 First Date..When we were getting the ticks, the seller actually asked if we wanted to get the lover's seat! OMG, so embarassing.. We were just stunned for words, and I was stunned for a second before responding, and just shook my head. How come he did not respond, and I had to respond instead? :S 

This show is so touching!! Enjoyed it lots..

Later, he sent me hme, and gave me a card and present! He signed off the card "Love..."

When I got home, my sister bot me a cake and I cut it... took photograph.. 

I am happy today, cos I finally met him.. and get to spend my birhtday with him...