Dont Know why..

Today like no mood to work.. So many things to do also don’t know wat to do first. And today ev1 in my dept v tensed up cos my last day this Thurs, then my other colleague next wk... A lot of huo yao wei.. cos when we chk, we realize tt my colleagues did not do, but we dont know y.. Then I’m also clearing shit partly left over by her and another colleague. alot of things only they know. We are like half pail water...... but they don’t find time to clear them.. So it becomes a big mess. Sometimes don’t know why so many outstanding things hanging in the air...

Will be meeting him this Thurs... I asked him to come pick me up at work, cos I had a lot of things to bring home (actually it’s an excuse to meet him) >< I don’t know if I dare to tell him about reading his sms... I hope I will.....

Don’t know if he'll be open to me. Actually scare he will gen wo fan lian on the spot........ I so want to know who's this Viv. I know I shld take things as it comes..... but I don’t know if I shld go all out to ......... u know... to zhen qu my xing fu and to spend another half yr or more to do tt... cos I am afraid.. My colleague asked me y I "si yao zhe bu fang". I also dunno y.. tt time I still don’t know they broke. Then I was looking for my sms, and suddenly I saw those sms, I cried when I read his sms to her gf. I don’t know y. Is it bcos I like him too much to feel his pain, or is it becos, I wanted desperately for them to be happy, but it turned out otherwise? Or is it becos, I regretted not staying by his side during the past one yr.

I feel so sian when I think abt the things tt happen to him. The sms keep replaying in my head and I feel so helpless.. I thot I want to give him up liao, then this happen, and I had to find out thru this unexpected way. What is God trying to do here?